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Hannah's StoryThis is the story of my beautiful golden dun Connemara cross mare ‘Hannah’ who came to me on September 9th 1989 and left me on the 29th April 2008. She took me on a very special journey and this is her story.
Anyway I paid a deposit and collected her a week later and decided to call her ‘Hannah’ as I thought the old fashioned name suited her. I remember now that we had only been going half an hour with the horse trailer and she had polished off a very large hay net - a sign of Hannah’s rather healthy appetite! Back at home she settled in so well in fact she refused to come out of her stable having sussed out that was where the food was. I remember coming back from my first ride on her and saying she seemed much more lively than when I tried her out. However those first 6 weeks she didn’t put a hoof wrong – no doubt working out that it was in her interests to stay. Then disaster struck. Her vetting had picked up that her teeth needed doing and so I duly got my vet out to do her teeth and vaccinations. He announced she wasn’t seven at all but nearer double the age. I was devastated – my perfect horse wasn’t what she was supposed to be after all. After a lot of vet assessments of her age and tussles with the previous owner who maintained they didn’t know, I got some money back from the Veterinary Defence Society, so she only cost me £1000 and she was estimated as being between 11 and 13. We also worried she might also be in foal because of her belly but that proved not to be the case. In fact she turned out to be a bit of a bargain in the end.
Jumping was also proving ‘fun’. At her first jumping show she won the scurry jumping – as no one else could touch her speed. Jumping like everything was always on Hannah’s terms. Over the years we had lots of lessons working on trying to slow her down, but the upshot was she only jumped her way (very fast) and if you tried to slow her down she would just do half rears on the spot.
I tried lots of different bits but she wouldn’t tolerate too sharp a bit having quite a sensitive mouth despite being very strong. A Pelham had little effect really but was the most acceptable at the time. Later on she was always ridden in a Dutch gag which gave just a bit more control on a hack without her backing off.
Hacking was still proving problematic though. Hannah would ‘lose the plot’ if she saw horses in the distance and become a complete nightmare jogging and pulling all the way home. In company she always had to be in front and we spent many hacks waiting for other people to catch up because she walked so fast. There were many rides I would come home in tears because she had been a nightmare and I was exhausted by her antics. However she never bucked or bolted, just had a huge amount of stamina and energy and you never knew when she might ‘blow up’.
This also meant I had a few tricky times enticing her in from the field. She thought it was fun to trot in ever decreasing circles around me with her ears back and throwing the occasional kick in my direction. I was the only person who went up the field armoured up in hat and body protector. She would only do it a few times in the spring and then would be fine. She also liked to untie herself when you weren’t looking. A regular trick, in all the years I had her I never saw her actually do it. Hannah did not tolerate fools (apart from me!) and if she thought that someone was frightened of her she thought it was great fun to terrorise them. One poor lady was too terrified to come out of the tack room when Hannah was tied up next door as Hannah would poke her head round the door and bare her teeth at her, but funnily only at this lady because Hannah knew she was frightened. Hannah was boss horse in all respects. She was a dominant mare in the field at her first livery yard. All the mares had to do what she wanted and she had various buddies over the years whose life was probably made miserable by her demands that they must graze a certain part of the field. However she pulled faces and saw other horses off but didn’t kick out. The biggest problem was when another dominant mare was put in her field and a massive fight broke out and Hannah was badly injured which resulted in us leaving that livery yard and moving to another yard where our other family ponies ‘Hamish’ and ‘Fraser’ lived.
Despite the ups and downs we did have many happy long rides together, especially in the summer when she was more chilled. Hannah was definitely a horse to which the old saying ‘when she was good, she was very very good, and when she was bad, she was terrible’ applies. Her flatwork eventually improved quite considerably but this was only after we went back to complete basics with a classical dressage trainer, Simon Battram, who helped us enormously. She liked doing lateral work and I would often have to school on a hack to keep her mind off being naughty so we would go back and forth across the lane. She was rarely sick or sorry until her older years. She had a few foot abscesses, was prone to respiratory problems and had a few kick injuries but I was very lucky really. One kick injury involved her having to be sedated by a vet friend on the yard using sedatives for small animals, so he could sew up the wound. The next day Hannah wouldn’t let him in the stable!
Hannah saw me through many dark periods in my life. Like all horse owners I found there is something hugely comforting about their presence when you are in your darkest hour. The unconditional love you share with them is so very special. In all the years I had Hannah I never once felt I didn’t want to go to the yard and see her, even on a cold miserable dark winters morning. Seeing her head over the door or trotting across the field calling in her high pitch whinny would make everything worthwhile.
In her early twenties, Hannah had a back/hip injury which would eventually lead me down a new path in life. Hannah’s injury was bad and the vets weren’t sure whether she would recover. They advised 3 months box rest and to wait and see. Hannah was very lame and depressed, not really eating. At this time I was desperate and remembered reading about a healer Charles Siddle and thought it might be worth a try. I spent ages trying to track him down until by chance a neighbour came round with one of his leaflets saying she had heard my horse was ill and wondered whether he could help. Charles came and visited Hannah and he only laid hands on her for a few minutes during which Hannah whipped her head round to look at him and he then pronounced she would be fine. I didn’t really believe it at the time, but by the time I got to work I had a phone call to say that she had wolfed down half a bale of hay and was looking a lot better. She came out of the box sound and although I followed the vet’s advice and continued to box rest her, I have no doubt that Charles saved her. I was keen to rehabilitate Hannah and do anything I could do to help her and it was at this time I came across Equine Touch and decided to go on one of their courses, eventually training to be a practitioner. Equine Touch became a valuable tool for keeping Hannah well and fit into her 30’s and she thoroughly enjoyed her regular sessions. I became interested in healing as well after Charles’ visit, although it was Hannah who eventually pushed me down this path.
So the strong willed little Irish mare with a mind of her own who came to me all those years ago has gone on to carry on her work on the other side. I will never forget what she has taught me or that I owe her a great debt – to my beautiful golden ‘Hannah pony'. Thank you 
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The Holistic Touch, copyright 2005
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Sometimes I look back at my first photos of Hannah and wonder why I bought her as she looked thin with a huge belly and an upside down neck. I don’t think it was just her beautiful golden colour although Id always wanted a dun or the fact that out of the ten horses I tried she was the only one I felt at home on, it was somehow I saw her head over the door and fell in love. On reflection there were signs all might not be quite so perfect on that day. She scurried to the back of the stable with her ears back when approached with the head collar and was very reluctant to leave her ‘boyfriend’. She had no proper name, just being named ‘Girl’, although she had show jumped under the name ‘Dunalot’ which I later kept as her ‘posh name’. Also the girl selling her happened to mention that she didn’t like being jumped in a ‘gag’ – it should perhaps have rung some alarm bells. 
Then the fun started. Having decided that I couldn’t sell her as I’d fallen in love with her, I started my lessons with her. What was acceptable in a ‘green’ 7 year old wasn’t quite so acceptable in an approximately 11 year old who was determined that she would be in charge in the school and liked to go a flat out trot along the long sides. Also I started to get her fit and feed her up so she was in good condition and then found I had a very different horse on my hands. Suddenly I had a fizzy excitable horse who thought that walk was a far too boring pace and jogging was much more fun, especially towards home.
Hannah excelled at cross country pretty much jumping everything in her way including one time launching herself off a huge ski jump that frightened me silly. The only time I fell off was when we going round a course for the second time and she remembered the course from previously so had turned in mid air over the jump to line up for the next jump and I kept going straight on. She was always in the ribbons and even won a hunter trial with an optimum time so I must have some success with the brakes that day.
Of course I had long since cut all her hard feed out and it wasn’t until her older years that she had anything more than a handful of pony nuts and chaff in summer and winter. In fact her first few summers were spent on a stringent diet when I realised how much of a good doer she actually was, Having spent the first winter feeding her up, I then spent the following summer dieting her, having to resort to keeping her in or putting a grazing muzzle on much to her disgust. 
Hannah was suddenly in heaven being the only mare in a field of geldings. Hannah was always very mareish and was in the early years a complete pain to ride when she was in season. She was crabby and bad tempered running up to her season and then would go soft and loving for a few days during her season. I put her on Regumate and then later on all sorts of herbs for difficult mares but none made a huge amount of difference. The same goes for the many calming products I tried over the years, which had little effect if Hannah was really in one of her moods. I resorted to taking calming products myself in order to psych myself up to ride her.
The same unfortunately couldn’t be said for me. A long line of injuries ranging from an old back injury, to problems with my knees and shoulders meant that I had long periods of not being able to ride and had to watch other people ride her. Quite a few of them only rode her once deciding that they would prefer to ride a quieter horse and not risk their necks. On more than one occasion I was advised to sell her before she killed me. Even my vet asked whether I really thought she was the horse for me. When I fell ill with M.E. I struggled on determined to keep riding whatever and not to sell her. Hannah was a rock during this time and I would not have been able to carry on without her. Just having her meant I still had something to carry on for and even though she was far from an ideal horse for a weak and exhausted owner, we pulled through together. I took to long lining her around the lanes just so we could go out together.
When I was on the road to recovery from the M.E I decided I wanted to do something I’d always wanted to do and I took Hannah on holiday to the New Forest. I must have been mad really as I went on my own and we rode out on the forest armed with nothing else but a map. However Hannah was great, not blinking an eye at anything and we had a great time exploring the fabulous countryside. We went back to the New Forest the following year with a friend and her little mare and they were both great despite being plagued by the horrible forest flies. I also took Hannah on holiday up to Norfolk where the only thing she disliked were the pheasants flying out of the hedges, but otherwise was behaved perfectly. I couldn’t have wished for a better horse.
She started behaving particularly badly and out of desperation I contacted another local healer, (Charles having sadly passed on the year before). This healer came out and Hannah whizzed around her box not having any of it until the healer turned to me and said that it’s you she wants to have healing because you need it not her. At this time in my life things were very bad for me and I was truly at rock bottom. I started to have healing sessions and Hannah’s behaviour went back to normal (not the last time that she would reflect my internal emotions). Shortly afterwards out of the blue I was sent details of the Charles Siddle Foundation animal healing courses and the local NFSH courses and embarked on both courses. The former put me in touch with my dear friend Felicity Wilson who has become my spiritual mentor and who helped me enormously with Hannah in her latter years. However it is Hannah who was my chief spiritual teacher. My wise old mare taught me how to connect with her spiritually and became a wonderful teacher by always showing what she thought or felt of the new things I was learning. Without Hannah I would not have learnt about healing, Equine Touch, Bach flower remedies, dowsing, essential oils, natural horsemanship or the many other wonderful things we can do to help our horses.
So now over 18 years later I am without my beautiful wise old mare and its very hard not to see her every day, to hear her whickering at me softly as I approach or to take her out riding in the woods and fields with her bouncing along with sheer exuberance. She was fit and well until the last day and I am thankful that she never lost her indomitable spirit and became physically worn down. Even on the last day, having gone down with colic, everything was done on Hannah’s terms – she was going to decide whether she would pull through or not regardless of our efforts. At the end she was ready to go and she went peacefully with great dignity and I was able to help her pass over to the light with love and the belief that I will see her again in spirit.